Life is full of rejection. Big ones and little ones a like. The type that stay, linger forever in the back of your mind. The sort that are fleeting, in and out so quickly it hardly resonates. I never thought a book could break my heart. But, like with everything about this trek through the publishing web, I should really stop being surprised when it goes to a whole new level.
One of my readers, Deshipley, gave me sound advice a few days ago. She said, when the rejection comes–based on your book, after a professional has read it–it hurts. She was right, totally correct…it does hurt. It’s pounds of hurt and disappointment and self doubt and fear and so many other emotions I can’t pinpoint them.
I’ve taken a lot of no’s with this story. I’m so tired of that word. I can sit here and say it’s a matter of taste, I can reason that it’s not my fault or the book’s fault per say. I can say all of that and sometimes I can even believe it, but other times, I’m sorry, but I simply can’t buy it. Today…I’m having a pity party for one.
I submitted my book to a small publishing house. Don’t ask me why, I don’t really know. The sample contract was extremely limiting–no print books, little control over my edited manuscript, 50% profit after the royalties of eBook sales–which we know is already a lowly sum to begin with. The gains were little, all things considered and weighed evenly. But still, I queried. And with that single try, I managed to get a full read.
The publishing house I went after was tiny, a start up only a few months old. Maybe I did it simply because there is an innate desire in me to have the backing of a real publisher, no matter the size of their muscle. Maybe that desire is something I cannot quash, no matter how promising Indieland is, and maybe that’s what it’s always been about. You always want most what you can’t have.
The editor got back to me so quickly initially, and she had such nice things to say out of the gate after reading the first 30 pages. I actually had the gull to be hopeful despite logically knowing better. I apologize for not posting about this full read on the blog–but I wasn’t sure what to say…
This morning I received the following rejection: